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I've had that happen and the winning bid was higher than what I was going to pay. They came back with the second chance for my high bid. I kind of wondered about it. You mean you actually found a way to contact them.
Most times tis is a scam done by others than the seller. They are ghosting the sellers and then contact you in order to get your moneys. If it is a legit second chance offer it will be in your ebay messages and offers. The second chance offer should be for your last bid amount. This is a lot like the old dutch auctions.
I have purchased a couple of items via this method. The last time the seller wanted to go outside the system. I played nice with ebay and made him do it thru the system for both of our protection. I did offer him the additional fees in oder to do it legit.